Re-Assessment

Where has life taken me:

A year ago I started this blog, not once did I keep track and basically left it...

A year ago I was on the road to a wonderful engagement, things went for the wrong, my own fault.

I had fumbled big time, let go of myself and willfully taken the risk of my relationship.
Not to say that thing happen for a reason; but honestly I am learning more about my then I ever did throughout my whole entire life.

This isn't about anything in particular, I'm honestly just going through thoughts.

A year ago, I had a wonderful job. Meaning now I no longer hold a job in any aspect.

I have new goals, a mind flourished with knowledge. My mind is still fresh and growing; even those who surpass the age of 99, still have something new to learn and in various aspects of life.

It is a trifling thought to believe that you never stop learning.

There is a discovery within my self, that I honestly still need to reveal.]

I chanced a lot on expectations throughout life and as I doubted, my naive perception kept me from the truth; a down fall in disappointment.

People say "Life is too short"
But the thing is, as to what you believe in...
As humans, as mammals, as living breathing creatures of this world...What I mean is, I am not trying to get technical, life is literally the longest thing you shall experience. Even those who believe in reincarnation  one life is still the longest thing possible you could ever experience.

In my life I can admit to being bad, c'mon what is a life about a bit of lying. The priceless feeling of lying as a kid of who took your mom's last ice cream sandwich and getting away with it. But as time goes on, adulthood lies are derived from any party, in all sorts of ways to see through your must deepest poker face and karma seems to exist where you realize it comes to bite you in the ass. Then there's cheating, those extremely impossible long division questions, I did not do so exceptional as a kid in math myself, then cheating and deceiving your future spouse; not the equation you can easily erase your mistakes. There's stealing, I remember borrowing that random young peer, who had a case full of pencils and you'd promise to give it back after class. Out of those weeks and months of school, you barely gave it back, chances of you returning it were slim as the paper you wrote on. I've never really stolen anything extreme, but as loving and relationship manner to relate, stealing a chance and opportunity is all based on your decision and logical thinking. That's my only notion for stealing.

Asides from this all I am just mumbling essentially for myself.

Working Out

Now, I'm not one not to diet nor go out for a run or even a "light" jog. While training in Muay Thai is becoming more than just a regular thing that I'm starting to enjoy even more, it's something I am starting to intake more feeling towards. Since dance had been too complicated and singing wasn't getting any farther in my; Muay Thai is becoming my new outlook. It's something that I am starting to enjoy, it's possibly the reason why I will continue my blogging. Can't guarantee that this will be a regular thing, but hopefully keep track of my thoughts and motivating myself.

I will be alone this weekend and pretty much have a choice between working out all day or staying in and just sitting around. My choice has not been set yet... The slacking appeal is out there, no doubt about it.

Till next time... Ciao.

Not Enough Views

Since starting a serious blog, I haven't really promoted myself much; but in all honesty I don't find my own opinions that fascinated. 

Unless you're reading and thinking, "Wow I wonder what her opinion means?" 

But in reality I just want to write now, to write about anything unless there is an actual request for a certain subject that is a different story. And I know that I was suppose to write a blog about relationships but who wants to hear about it? I mean seriously who wants to read about the all time cliche "it has its ups & downs" speech?

All in all, I wanted to either move you in some sort of way (I know I'm pretty contradicting myself), I at least want some type of feeling expressed after reading.

I don't want to be the blogger that will post mainly life and it's sad realities, I want to bring the life back to glow inside your heart (yet a bit cheesy but deal eh?) Either way I want to make you laugh than bore and sadden you with my own sob story; I could but I guess that's for another time. 

Now, to the actual subject "Not Enough Views"

My statement as of right now is clear, I will continue to write about anything and everything; no holds bar... I honestly don't think that is how the phrase goes, just hope you catch my gist. I want to actually know someone is reading. If I get at least 20 views in 3 hour, I will post every single Friday and if not I will leave as an undesirable dumb blogger. That right there was to make you chuckle, but whatever. If not I guess I will just write at rare moments. And then the first person to contact will choose my subject. just read. Then I'll feel more interesting the BS on television

Hesitation and Consideration

Honestly, I don't know what to write today; whether to ask people for topics or look at the news and write about what is popular to the society.

Faith? No thank you. What about my life? Not that again, well at least not until I hit a certain amount of viewers, I guess.

I don't want to be want of those bloggers that relentlessly jot down dribble that'll make you drool in sexual driven matters, whether pictures of myself or smut. But, in some case I want you to to awe, in some aspect of what I write. Whether you dislike my thoughts and feelings, it is how you feel. I will not be swayed by every reader, unless my judgement is totally off track I'm going to be myself, but only to grow as a person.

I honestly have had plenty of things going, too many to itemize.

My days are purely empty of nothing and nonsense, meaning I am unemployed currently, cleaning, and planning what to make for my next meal or to skip it because my mind is busy writing in my essential journal.

My brain is on overloading... My conscience isn't really qualified to think so much, especially on a weekend. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day to really put my thoughts into place, so until tomorrow.

About Me and Some More, EXPLANATION.

I am a thoughtful individual, a victim of society, a music lover, some-what of a lost cause, and an easily tempered person. My thoughts are usually irrational, my body language is a bit too obvious, and my state of mind is never really at ease. 


There is no such thing as simple satisfaction; it is either exact or no where near: no ifs, ands, or buts when it comes to answers. 


"Needs" are areas that are necessary to live, obligations are things that must be done for what I'd like to call "special relationship purposes," even then sometimes are not even fulfilled.


I honestly can can proclaim to put up with a plentiful amount of ignorance, yet there is a limit, I must expose... My intake of bullsh*t, is a necessary feeling. Also, I censor myself because I feel it's right to, not to satisfy you; but live above the foul-mouthed heathens that may dislike my sense of writing style.


 My mentality has its own element and more components, that none can imagine. I can be ignorant:  ignore theories, interrupt with my own sense of knowledge, and destroy your philosophy with my own theory of how to live your own life unable to understand or different perspectives.


Judgement, it is brought upon us as human being to feel a sense of either dislike, dismay, they're okay... Sensitive on the subject, I'll let it go and continue I must though.


I have plenty of "wants," but those will only earned or gotten through my own selfish moment(s)


I don't have all the answers, no one really does. So, who am I to say?
I mean... I'll listen and I'll give what I have; if you don't like it then why bother ask?
Hesitate if you must, but I am here to listen, to help all I can, to make you stand up again.


You don't believe, explain.
You call your son a disgrace for being what he is, explain.
You do not refer to me as woman yet, explain.
You believe that this is a sin, explain.


You can't describe the pain they put you through, explain.
You don't want to wait, explain.
You have no clue what you would like to do, explain.


You feel lost, explain.